The Sober Chicks: E10 “Women & Recovery”

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“Women & Recovery:” The Social & Personal Barriers Women Face When Seeking Treatment

In this episode of Straight Talk, the Sober Chicks discuss some of the barriers women face when seeking treatment for their struggles with addiction. We discuss some of the personal shame that women feel when admitting they have an addictive issue and some of the social constructs that often prevent or delay women from getting the treatment they need. In this episode, you’ll learn some of the risk factors for women and just how powerful it can be when women come together to support each other in treatment. Women are finally catching up to man in many respects, unfortunately, one of those things happens to be in the rates of reported addictive disorders.

Women face both social and personal barriers when it comes to seeking treatment; including society and personal shame.

Women face both external & internal barriers when it comes to seeking treatment; including social & personal shame.

Struggles with Self-Shame & Societal Shame:

Many women struggle with self-shaming tendencies when it comes to seeking treatment or even acknowledging they have a problem. We’ve heard from clients who say they feel an obligation to bear the burden of their familial responsibilities and would feel ashamed and weak if they had to take time for themselves to seek treatment. Many women are in caregiving roles and feel guilty over the thought of possibly taking time away from their families to go to treatment or even acknowledge they might be struggling with maintaining a healthy lifestyle. The same type of sentiment exists with professional women who feel like they have worked too hard to overcome barriers in the workplace, that taking the time to seek treatment would set them back. The guilt expressed by many female patients tends to be linked the sentiment that women “aren’t allowed” to take time away from their family or job. Many of our male clients don’t struggle as frequently with these issues; socially it seems more acceptable for a man to express that he is struggling with an addictive issue than a woman.

The Telescoping Phenomenon

Many women have also fallen prone to what is known as the “telescoping phenomenon.” This term describes the relatively short term progression from substance use to substance dependence or abuse. In many cases, we see women, often starting in their 30’s, experience a dramatic life change; whether it be divorce or empty nest syndrome, they go from using a substance to abusing the substance. In the past women have had lower rates of addictive behavior, in recent years women are unfortunately catching up to men in this regard. More women are seeking treatment for addiction issues and quite often the telescoping phenomena is reported. Here is a great study that explores some of the most recent statistics and observations: Substance Abuse in Women

Single-Sex Therapeutic Environment

An all female environment has proven to be an excellent form of treatment for women dealing with any mental health issue, particularly addiction

teenage girl suffering with depression in a conversation with a therapist

Women support & challenge one another best when in a single-sex environment.

treatment. Here at Insight Counseling, we offer a women’s support group and have observed in our own sessions the powerful change that comes with an all female environment. Women tend to offer one another care and support and challenge one another in ways we don’t often see from their male counterparts. For more information or to register for our Women’s Recovery Group, please contact our Office Manager at (203) 431-9726 ext. 0.

Self-Care Isn’t Something to Feel Guilty About

Women often sacrifice self-care; even women that aren’t faced with an addictive disorder often sacrifice their own well being for the happiness of others. It’s a social construction that women are the main caregivers and family/work obligations come first. Many women experience anxiety or guilt over taking time for themselves. In our own observations sometimes having an addiction disorder that demands treatment is a welcomed reprieve from daily obligations; many women feel almost grateful to have an “excuse” for taking care of themselves. The lack of self-care and the sacrifice that so many women make for the happiness of others can often lead to the development of an addiction disorder and other mental health issues. If more women realized that self-care is the least selfish thing one can do, then we would all be happier and healthier! The best thing for you to do is to take care of yourself so you can care for others; it’s not selfish, it’s selfless!

Remember to take your sobriety seriously, but not yourselves too seriously!
– The Sober Chicks, Liz & Sarah

If you, or someone you know, is struggling with addiction or any other mental health issue please feel free to contact us. Insight Counseling is located in Ridgefield, CT, we have a great team of mental health professionals that can help. Contact us through email at info@insightcounselingllc.com, or call: 203-431-9726.

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The Sober Chicks: E09, “Fool’s Rules”

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The Sober Chick’s Favorite “Fool’s Rules”

In this episode, the Sober Chicks discuss some of the “fools rules” that addicts use to justify their behavior. We humorously breakdown the thinking behind those justifications, lay out why it can be so destructive and share examples of these “rules”, many from our own personal experiences. We talk about how as clinicians we work to deconstruct that mode of thinking with our clients and how we even changed our own addictive thinking.

The Most Commonly Used “Rules”

Laughing women smoking cigarettes and drinking alcohol

  1. Liz’s classic, “Winston Churchill drank every day during WWII… And he defeated the Nazis!”
  2. I don’t drink in the morning… Therefore I’m not an alcoholic.
  3. I’m drinking by choice, not because I have to!
  4. I only binge on the weekends, I don’t drink during the week. (Maintenance vs Binge Drinkers)
  5. I don’t get drunk every time!
  6. All my friends drink, so it’s normal!
  7. I only drink certain types of alcohol. I’m a connoisseur of fine wines/craft beers!
  8. I’m only affecting myself, not loved ones.
  9. I still ________ (Fill in the blank, ex: get good grades, succeed in the workplace, show up on time), therefore I don’t have a problem.

 

The “Stereotypes”
Drunk young man passed out in bar

The Stereotype is not always accurate!

Many of the rules we hear from individuals struggling with addiction are based off social constructions of what an addict “looks like.” The idea that

you’re only an alcoholic if you don’t show up to work, or drink in the morning, is a dangerous misconception. Many patients with addictive disorders justify their behavior because it doesn’t look like the stereotypical image of how addiction is “supposed” to look. Many people that are binge drinkers, drinking only on the weekends, don’t realize that they have an addictive disorder because they aren’t maintenance drinkers. That makes it even more difficult to recognize that there is an problem and seek treatment for it.

The Social Justification
Rule # 6: All my friends drink, so it's normal!

Rule # 6: All my friends drink, so it’s normal!

Between the ages of 18 – 24 tends to be the heaviest drinking period for most young adults, however many adults phase out of that and stop these unhealthy drinking habits. Many individuals struggling with addiction use the fact that many of their friends are drinking/smoking as heavily as they are, as a means to justify their behavior. It is only recognized as a problem when the friends that used to justify the addictive behavior stop partying and the individual that has been struggling with addiction is left as the outlier.

The Connoisseur

With wine tastings and craft beers all the rage these days, we are seeing more clients who use their love of fine wines and craft beers as a justification for their substance dependence. Some people do have the

Rule # 7: I only drink certain types of alcohol. I'm a connoisseur of fine wines/craft beers!

Rule # 7: I only drink certain types of alcohol. I’m a connoisseur of fine wines/craft beers!

ability to enjoy alcohol for the taste and not abuse it, often those that are prone to abusing the substance use, label themselves as connoisseurs or collectors to mask their dependence issue. The person that can’t handle when people “spit” at wine tastings (because that would be a waste of a good sip of wine!) might have a problem.

For more on this issue, Sober Chick, Sarah Allen Benton published an article on Psychology Today, check out her blog post here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-high-functioning-alcoholic/201510/fools-rules-justifying-drinking

Remember to take your sobriety seriously, but not yourselves too seriously!

– The Sober Chicks, Liz & Sarah

 

Here are some great statistics on binge & social drinking:college-data (1)

If you, or someone you know, is struggling with addiction or any other mental health issue please feel free to contact us. Insight Counseling is located in Ridgefield, CT, we have a great team of mental health professionals that can help. Contact us through email at info@insightcounselingllc.com, or call: 203-431-9726.

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The Sober Chicks: E08: “I’m Too Smart for Therapy”

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The Sober Chicks Explain, Why You Might Be “Too Smart” For Therapy

Get ready to hear the Sober Chicks break it down in an impromptu hip-hop session! Riffing off Right Said Fred’s, “I’m Too Sexy,” we created our own version, “I’m Too Smart…For Therapy!” We wanted to find a way to humorously share some of the challenges high-functioning addicts face when it comes to getting the treatment they need. In this episode of, “Straight Talk from the Sober Chicks,” we discuss how the same traits that make it harder for high-functioning individuals struggling with addiction, also make it harder to get sober.

The Traits That Make You Successful, Make it Hard to Get Sober

Often, the very trait make an individual successful in life, make it even more of a challenge for them to succeed in achieving sobriety. High-functioning patients are often individuals that have seen great success in their professional lives, often it is their high level of intellect that get in the way of their sobriety. Both Sarah and I have heard from patients who dismiss proposed treatment options saying they won’t work for them; this perspective is is often a reactionary and defensive one, that gets in the way of a achieving sobriety and maintaining a healthy & balanced lifestyle.

It’s Not Personal

Many people find it difficult to separate their struggles with addiction from their own personal success. It is hard to admit that you may have a substance abuse problem and even harder when it means accepting there are flaws in your decision making process. Often clients that take feedback as personal criticism, when it is not! Accepting that you have an addictive disorder is difficult; but working to overcome the mental roadblocks that often get in the way of staying sober is even more challenging. As therapists and as individuals in recovery, we fully understand what a hurdle this is for our clients and work to help patients re-work their thinking and slowly break down those roadblocks, one piece at a time!

A Simple Program for Complicated People

When I first started in AA, this was a concept that was commonly reinforced. Often clients dismiss 12-Step Programs because of the simplistic approach to recovery; but for any patient, even high functioning ones, the simplicity is what makes it effective. High-functioning people struggling with addiction are often in a high-stress, high-pressure work environment, which can further additive tendencies, compounded with family responsibilities, there is pressure to “do it all,” and do it well. That is what makes the 12-Step approach an important facet of recovery; everything else is complicated and this form of treatment is straightforward.

Let’s face it, you’ve got enough going on, so keep it simple!

Remember to take your sobriety seriously, but not yourselves too seriously!

– The Sober Chicks, Liz & Sarah

If you, or someone you know, is struggling with addiction or any other mental health issue please feel free to contact us. Insight Counseling is located in Ridgefield, CT, we have a great team of mental health professionals that can help. Contact us through email at info@insightcounselingllc.com, or call: 203-431-9726.

Have a Question for the Sober Chicks? Want a straight answer from Liz or Sarah? Send us your question or topic you want us to discuss and we might feature it on one of our upcoming episodes of “Straight Talk from the Sober Chicks.”
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The Sober Chicks: E07 “Take My Advice, I’m Not Using It, Part 2 feat. Charles Bentz”

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The Importance of Self-Care for the Caregiver

This episode of “Straight Talk from the Sober Chicks” in this two part series, features Charlie Bentz Owner/CFO of Luxury Extended Care & Transitional Living and Malibu Beach Sober Living. Charlie and the Sober Chicks discuss the importance of self-care for the caregiver. Charlie shares his own personal story of recovery and rebirth of empathy when he was in treatment and witnessed the 9/11 attack on the World Trade Center. Working on Wall Street at the time, he shares how he witnessed those working in the treatment facility worked to keep their composure as they showed their patients care. Liz, Sarah & Charlie discuss how it can be difficult for those giving care to make time for self-care and some great tips for taking care of yourself.

If you need a professional to assist you with finding the best option for your path to happiness and healthiness, you can contact Insight Counseling through email at info@insightcounselingllc.com, or call: 203-431-9726.

Remember to take your sobriety seriously, but not yourselves too seriously!

– The Sober Chicks, Liz & Sarah

Have a Question for the Sober Chicks? Want a straight answer from Liz or Sarah? Send us your question or topic you want us to discuss and we might feature it on one of our upcoming episodes of “Straight Talk from the Sober Chicks.”
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